And I committed suicide last night
my body lay below, I floated up towards the light
I felt nothing, it was over, no relief
and somewhere down below me just the briefest flinch of grief
but at the desk of purgatory I made a deal
I could walk again amongst you but nothing would be quite real
and I wouldn’t need food, wouldn’t need sleep
I wouldn’t be an angel just some creep who cares for nothing
and I’d sit and watch the passers-by
who unlike me would one day die
who wondered what its all about
felt intense pleasure, intense doubt
they passed, they barely noticed me
I was free

Sometimes I got lonely, then it passed
my words passed by unnoticed, this made me laugh
I watched the world around me minutely change
the strange didn’t become familiar, rather it remained strange
I looked up towards the heavens for no sign
for why would you look for meaning in some hotel you once
spent a little time
and somewhere like a dog in heat
I watched the world stuck on repeat
both in and out of history
I was free

The years passed, everyone got older, I stayed the same
it all got a little bit boring, but I had no one but myself to blame
I formulated theories which made no sense
couldn’t think about my life without confusing past & present tense
and in my confusion there was an intense light
but it clarified nothing just created more confusion
in this world that cared for nothing
but itself and what came after
as I bathed it all in laughter
every laugh was an admission
of a guilt in deep remission
it’s the way things had to be
because I was free